Relationships and Stuff

Can we talk relationships for a minute. I’ve been in the same one for almost 13 years and I’m only 29. Wrap your head around that people! It doesn’t get any easier either. We have to work really hard every single day to make each other happy and sometimes (or more than sometimes) we get lazy.

With that being said, I thought it would be fun to give each other relationship tips. I’ll tell you how we’ve managed not to kill each other and you tell me how you’ve managed not to kill each other.

My tip: determine your love languages. There are five and I speak all of them fluently, but mostly I like acts of service. This means, The Husband can show me how much he loves me by cleaning the shower. His love language is physical touch — he loves to cuddle while I’m all about personal space. Once we learned our love languages, we made attempts to speak each others. I know this probably just confused the hell out of you, but there’s a book on it and I highly suggest reading.

Also, no TV in the bedroom.

Okay, now give me your tips.

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20 thoughts on “Relationships and Stuff

  1. Love this post. I’ve heard a bit about love languages, but could probably read the whole book twice. I suck at relationships. I think me my guy definitely speak two different languages. I have no tips. Well maybe to respond rather than react. I’m learning to take the deep breath in before saying what I think.

  2. elizabeth says:

    I love the love language thing and it is so true. I think the best tip I have ever read is to not have friendships that make the other person uncomfortable – like looking up past boyfriends and girlfriends on FB. Cheating is not an event, it is a process with an event at the end. Sorry to be a downer, but it’s the truth!
    xoxo -e (modern24seven)

  3. Erika [small shop] says:

    Yep, no TV!
    We try to do a date night every other week, and at least one lunch together during the week. It helps us stay connected.
    Also I really try not to hold something in and let it simmer. If I’m upset about something it’s best if I tell him…otherwise i will blow up! And probably the hardest part is figuring out what I need from him to make it better. I’ve accepted the fact that I have to tell him. But he does it! No complaints!

  4. Rita says:

    Love the love language bit. Takes a while to learn to speak it, but so great when you do!
    My best tip is being honest. When we started out on our realtionship, we would spend one month together, two months apart and so on for 1,5 years. (Studies and work kept taking us to different countires.) That made us just having to be honest and trust each other. And I think that is the main thing that makes our realtionship so strong.
    On a daily basis: no phones, TV or newspapers over dinner. Talk and share your day.
    Buy a dishwasher… And make time for being boyfriend/girlfriend. It should not all be about practical things. Make room for the love that brought you together in the first place.

  5. I’ve been looking into this book for awhile now. I keep meaning to buy it but I think I need to since you’ve just reminded me again!

    I have been with my BF for 7 years and I’m 24. Yep, a really darn long time. I know how ya feel…it’s all about communication. We get into fights over little misunderstandings so it’s best to always try to talk it out. Also we try to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes whenever the other person is angry or not understanding. Works a lot!

  6. Five Languages of Love is one of my all time favorite books! I believe I read it on our honeymoon flight.🙂 Every couple must read {and maybe even re-read} it. I have been with my hubby for 12 years at 29 too and think it’s good old fashioned love and respect that work for us! xo

  7. PhotoGirl says:

    Separate bathrooms.
    Separate bank accounts.
    No cell phones, ipads (he calls them my “electronic boyfriends”) in the bedroom. TV is OK for us, though.
    No saving up things you’re angry about. If it’s bothering you, spit it out NOW. We have a one-week statute of limitations on things. Bring it up when it happens or forget about it.

    We’ve been together for 10 years.

  8. designstiles says:

    Thirteen years. You deserve a trophy. I’ll have to look into this love languages thing you speak of. TH is a total wanna kiss, cuddle, say I love you all the time type/ I was just raised way differently. I’ve learned to adjust. Communication really is key. We had one hell of a rocky start to our marriage that I’ll be happy to share in person.
    Nope, no tv in the bedroom either. And we catch up over dinner at the table. Then we each do our thing after that.

  9. Tip 1: When he’s talking (next to you or on the phone,…) never do something else as listening. You’ll be much more able to help him then or in the future.
    Tip 2: Never stop talking to each other
    Thank you for your tips🙂

  10. this is great! We still keep a tv in our bedroom, but it doesn’t seem to affect our sexy time;) I am definitely a happy camper whenever he helps me clean too. I make him happy with a good meal and with a back rub!

  11. One I love is using your words- so you don’t have to guess or worry!

  12. Gabriela says:

    I’ll never forget a tip I heard once: Although the one you’re with may not love you the way you need doesn’t mean they are not loving you the best they can. Now I realize it totally relates to “love languages”. It’s important to remember that people have different ways of showing each other their love. Another favorite is: Marry your best friend.

  13. Great tips! I’m similar to you. I’ve been in the same relationship for almost 26 years and I’ll be 40 next month so it’s basically a miracle that we’re still standing and so happy🙂

  14. Love languages are HUGE! The way you show love might not be what your significant other needs. Good thoughts.

  15. Belen says:

    This post couldn’t have come at a better time S. I am going to look into this book. I also belive in no TV in the bedroom but A does not like this idea. he wants his 65 inch TV to watch Family guy at night.
    My advice, no phones at dinner. put it away and just focus on the conversation, food and just being present. (taking my own advice here).

  16. Neda says:

    Wow, I love the “love language” idea…I’ve got to look into that! I don’t have any unique or groundbreaking advice but I do know that listening (real listening) is key. We like to go to coffee every once in a while even though we can just make coffee at home…forces you to look at each other and talk away.🙂

  17. I also believe no TV in the bedroom is a MUST. Separate bathrooms are a help also…………but I’m 30 and single so I have no idea what I/m talking about.

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