Confessions of a Dog Mom

Up until about 6 months ago, The Monster drove me batshit crazy.  He was a humongous, misbehaved teenager with excessive energy and an attitude problem. Once he officially outweighed me, there was no controlling him. I fell really hard a couple times during walks (because he sprints after other dogs) and developed anxiety about walking him. I was a hands-off mom, which was hard on the poor Husband.

And then one day, The Monster was less of an asshole. And the following day even more so.  With his new found maturity I decided it was time to face my fears.  I downed an Ativan with a glass of wine and ventured out with my giant beast. We made it a few blocks before my heart started palpitating. But I came home unscathed and congratulated myself for my show of courage. Each day thereafter, Dexter and I walked a little further and I got a little more comfortable and we continued to work on his training. Today, I’m proud to announce to you all (because I know you care about these things) that we hit the two mile mark without a single incident!

With a lot of training, a dash of patience and a dose of prescription medication, I am now one of those people who can take a casual stroll with her animal!

Photo via The Husband

Confessions

During a particularly bad bout of insomnia last night, I was thinking about some of my biggest fears. I’m known to be a worrywart and expect the worst case in almost every scenario. Like I won’t talk on my iPhone when I’m walking to my car after work  — party because I want to be aware of my surroundings, but also because I’m afraid someone will steal it right out of my hand.

I’m about to get real personal on this blog with a list of some of the things that scare me the most like:

• Not being able to get pregnant – It’s not that I’ve ever even tried, but I’ve always had a feeling that it might not happen.

• Losing my vision – I got LASIK two years ago and almost every morning I wake up fearful that my vision is blurry again.

• Rape – Isn’t this on every woman’s list?

• White vans – *see rape.

I should probably get some sleep meds huh? Now tell me I’m not alone in this you guys. What are some of your biggest fears?

And to avert the anxiety I just gave you, here are some joyful pictures to remind us that life is pleasant!